i believe fart is a form of volatile art
10/12/2007
Filed under: interesting — corpsie @ 8:01 pm

something spectacular happened and i have no idea how to start because it was so fucked up but let me introduce the actors in this particular drama.

me,
jack,
bus drivers,
pervert, (i prefer to say pesalah seks)
violated girl
one bro in front of the bus, we call him ‘pengusha’
and not to forget the policia.

for a little introduction, we were in the middle of a bus ride from alorstar to kl when suddently the bus made a weird and questionable stop at simpang pulai’s petronas by not refeuling. The lights then switched on and the driver came up (it was a double decker) and ask guy who was sitting alone at that time. i was wondering why he was sitting alone because i thought the bus was full.

driver : u ada pegang-pegang sapa tadi?
pervert: ……
driver : u buat apa tadi? *pushes that dude’s forhead a little*
pervert: ……
(at this time i siku’d jack who was not sleeping but not listening)

annoyed by that guy silence, the driver went down and get the girl. the question continued,

driver : yang mana satu? *referring to a wrong person*
girl : yg belakang tu, ha..
driver : u ada raba-raba dia tadi? *slap*
driver : ha? ha? *slap one more time*
driver : tangan u gatai noh
driver : u mau tidoq lokap malam ni? ha?
pervert: ……

then i noticed a middle aged guy who was sitting infront turn back and started to stare, actually not stare-lah, the proper word would be mengusha dengan penuh rasa benci dan marah, yeah thats it. and i was like, dude tengok mamat kat depan tu *giggles*

then the girl and the driver went down and things become silent for a minute but that guy still mengusha like hell i tell you, and jack was like, wei tengok tengok dia dok usha lagi *giggles*

me : hang ghasa hinnu ka?
jack: isk, tatau.
me : jom turun *showing cigarette puffing gesture* nak?
jack: jom, ble pi tengok muka.

so while i was passing by the pesalah was covering his eyes/face with his hand like the shit you see on news when someone was charged with something at court. then i said sort-of out loud (not loud since all the passangers were so senyap, so my voice were kinda loud)

me: ohhh, indian rupanya.
jack: heh

everybody usha at me for being loud. then both of us were giggling like stupid and went down. then i noticed both bus drivers went to toilet and i followed. as i was inside i pretended to kencing and observing the conversation between the driver.

driver 1: ni nak buat cammana ni?
driver 2: kita pi hantaq balai ja
driver 1: balai mana paling dekat, balai gopeng kot
driver 2: eh, kena patah balik ipoh, jauh tu.
driver 1: haish, tadak aih, keluaq kat gopeng lepaih tu kona kiri teruih jumpak balai.

my pretending kencing halted. i was about to burst out laughing, i washed my hand and jack came in to continue the observation. i went out and started smoking. jack joined me and i was from far he was laughing inside.

jack : bila jam nak sampai kl ni?
me : tatau aku.

then the ride continues with another person sitting beside ‘pesalah’. after witnessing that type of drama, we both cant help making jokes and laughing like bodoh for a couple of minutes. other ppl noticed that we were bising, who else, that pengusha guy lah.

jack : cerita belum tamat nih, mamat hinnu tu mesti ingat benda dah setel
me : eh, kita tak kona masuk gopeng pon.

then i fell alseep and then i was woken up by caressing touch on my right chest and i was like “uish wahh”

jack: nghahahaha
me : la ni baghu aku tau how it feels like to be violated
jack: nghahahahaha

i looked side to side. the bus stopped at balai polis dang wangi. we were like, ahh this gonna take atleast half an hour. then shortly after two policia came up the bus, lights switched on and gari that motherfucker.

i was like, “wooo, gari lah”. i never saw someone got gari’d infront of me before. then jack called his friend to pick us up and i said, lets jom, this shit gonna take forever.

jack while on the phone with his friend,

jack: wei, kami ada kat balai polis dang wangi
friend: hah????
jack: panjang drama, mai amik kami dulu

the friend came and we chow. while in the car heading to bangsar to get roti canai i said to jack, “i havent said this for a long time to anyone, i gotta blog this”

7/12/2007
Filed under: 1337 — corpsie @ 1:12 am

one of the toughest thing to do is keeping your Microsoft free from malware. its like what they say about eating except what you click is what you are. its time to start using LinkScanner. its never a nice day to get drive-by’ed.